Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
