Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
