I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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