Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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