how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
