the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
