dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
they need to just BURY HIM!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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