She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm at about main and main street
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
