His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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