I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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