Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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