She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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