My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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