i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
