rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
