theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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