i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize