Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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