OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
