He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
