i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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