no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
