how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
