Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
