real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
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I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
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I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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