it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
