Screwed.edu
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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