I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you had me at cake vodka
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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