Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
vagina is talking i cant
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
