when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
