all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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