Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
