Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
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She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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