Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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