3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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