fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize