Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
