I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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