it wasn't lemon gatorade
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
