sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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