My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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