I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
