There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
