nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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