She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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