You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
