Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
