mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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