I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
