This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
