I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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