Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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