I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
