He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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