i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
