it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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