My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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