So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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