"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
