sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
